Have you ever felt like you and your partner can’t connect in the way you need? Do you find that your partner
doesn’t recognize your displays of affection? Everyone gives and receives love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman devised the 5 love languages to describe how we express love.
The love languages are quality time, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, and words of affirmation. Most of us have more than one love language, but there’s often one or two that stand out. Many people think that physical touch means a person shows love through sexual activity, but it’s much more than that.
In this article, I’ll let you know how to determine if physical touch is your or your partner’s love language and give you some ideas for showing love through physical touch. I’ll also help you find ways to let your partner know you need physical touch.
How to Determine if You Have a Physical Touch Love Language
Someone whose primary love language is physical touch will seek out and offer physical affection. This is more than just sexual intimacy. Physical touch includes everything from holding hands to spooning as you fall asleep.
You likely have physical touch as a primary love language if being touched by your partner makes you feel more loved than receiving gifts, having them help with chores or any other demonstration of affection. Some signs you need physical touch to feel loved include:
- You crave being close to your partner.
- You often find yourself initiating holding hands or hugging.
- You enjoy giving and receiving affection in public.
- When your partner is around, you find little ways to touch them.
- You notice when your partner doesn’t touch you and feel hurt, especially in front of others.
- When you feel stressed or anxious, a hug from your partner immediately calms you.
What Are Some Ways To Show Love Through Physical Touch?
Our love languages don’t always line up when we choose to love someone. Developing healthy relationships requires us to love our partners the way they need to be loved, even if it isn’t our love language.
For example, it can be challenging to offer enough physical contact to meet your partner’s needs if your primary love language is quality time and theirs is physical touch. Remember, physical touch doesn’t always mean sexual touch. Here are some non-sexual examples of physical affection that can help bridge the gap when your love languages differ.
Holding Hands
Remember the first time you held someone’s hand? Before your first sexual experience, hand-holding was a way to show affection and let the world know that this was your person. If your primary love language isn’t physical touch, public displays of affection might not be your thing. However, hand-holding, especially in public, can foster intimacy for someone who needs physical contact to feel connected.
Cuddle
Many couples enjoy cuddling up together after sex, but if your love language is physical touch, it’s essential to snuggle at other times. Rather than sitting on opposite ends of the sofa during your nightly Netflix session, sit next to your partner, or lay across their lap.
Back Rub
Sure, sometimes a delicious back rub turns into a sweaty romp, but it doesn’t always have to. Even if you or your partner aren’t in the mood for sex, a back rub (or foot rub, or even a hand massage) is an intimate way to connect if your love language is physical touch.
Passing Hugs
Many couples move throughout their home all day without touching. For those with a physical touch love language, lack of touch can result in disconnection. Try making a passing hug rule. Every time you pass by another person, you have to hug them. Those extra hugs will help you feel connected and may even lead to flirtation.
How Do I Communicate My Love Language to My Partner?
Ok, so you’ve figured out that your primary or secondary love language is physical touch, but how are you supposed to communicate this to your partner? It may help refer to your need for affection as a love tank. Every interaction that meets your love language needs fills that tank, and any exchange that violates that need (like your partner refusing a kiss) empties it. You’re more likely to feel connected with your partner when your tank is full. Better connection means more (and better) sex.
Sharing resources (like this article) with your partner may help them understand what your love language means, and they may even want to incorporate a few types of non-sexual touch into your daily routines. If you’ve gotten out of the habit of kissing each other goodbye or saying hello with physical affection, you may feel awkward at first, but stick with it. Eventually, physical expressions of love will become second nature.
Sex Therapy or Coaching Can Help You Use Your Love Languages
Knowing and understanding your love language can help you ask your romantic partner what you need in the relationship. But, if you can’t be vulnerable enough with your partner to ask for what you need, or if you have trouble identifying your needs getting help from a professional sex therapist or coach can give you the necessary tools.
If you’re ready to learn what you desire in your relationship and the bedroom and develop tools for communicating your needs to your partner, please download my FREE Goddess Mindset Journal. I created it to guide women to rediscover their feminine power and say yes to their desires.
Suppose you want more intensive help reconnecting with your significant other, I invite you to register for my FREE 5 Day Become a Sex Goddess Program. I’ll help you rediscover you feminine energy, learn to say yes to your desires, and teach you how to ignite your libido and create the sex life of your dreams.
