There’s a common stereotype that women don’t like sex as much as men. That isn’t necessarily true. Women can have just as many desires, and even strong sex drives. But, that stereotype has stood the test of time for a reason.
It’s not that women don’t like sex as much as men. However, there are several factors that can come into play that could lower a woman’s sex drive.
If you’re a woman and you find yourself not as “into” sex as you used to, you’re not alone. There’s also nothing “wrong” with you because you don’t enjoy it. But, if you want to be able to experience the pleasures of sexual intimacy, it’s important to get to the bottom of why you don’t like it.
With that, let’s cover a few reasons women don’t like sex, and what you can do about it.
1. Mental Health
Mental health is often the main reason women don’t enjoy sex. If you’re dealing with depression, anxiety, or even extra stress, it can have an extreme impact on your sex life. You’re more likely to be focused on your feelings and anxious thoughts than being able to stay “in the moment” with your partner.
Getting to the root cause of any mental health issues and working through them with a therapist will not only help you enjoy sex, but will improve your overall well-being.
2. Stress
Speaking of stress, it deserves its own number when it comes to why you’re not enjoying sex. While stress is unavoidable, too much of it can actually lower your libido and make you less interested in sex.
You might still enjoy the physical aspect of it. But sex is just as mental and emotional as it is physical. A low libido will make it hard to connect the two.
3. Health Issues
Physical health problems are nothing to take lightly. If you can’t figure out why you’ve lost your interest in sex or don’t enjoy it, consider talking to your physician about any underlying health conditions you might be dealing with.
4. Low Self-Esteem
Body image issues are a major problem in today’s society. Expectations and standards are higher than ever, and social media tends to make things worse.
If you struggle with low self-esteem or poor body image, you’re not alone. But, it could impact your sex life if you don’t want to be seen or you’re worried about “performing” well.
Removing negative self-talk from your mindset is a great way to fight back against low self-esteem. But, it often requires getting to the core of the problem. This is another area in which therapy or counseling can make a big difference.
5. History of Sexual Abuse
Some women struggle with deeply-rooted issues of sexual abuse, or even physical abuse. It might stem from childhood, or maybe a bad relationship.
Addressing those issues is the only way to get past them. Emotions demand to be felt. Ignoring them or trying to push down the pain of the past will only make things worse. In the end, it isn’t fair to yourself or your partner. Abuse of any kind is horrifying, but addressing it is the only way to set yourself free.
6. Bad Sexual Experiences
Maybe you’ve never been abused, but your sex life has never been “great”. You may have not had partners who performed well, or maybe you’ve never felt strongly about anyone you’ve been with.
That can turn you off of the idea of having sex again. But, it’s important to keep trying. It’s the best way to learn more about yourself and what you enjoy. When you figure those things out, you can share them with your partner and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
7. Too Many Distractions
To say we live in a fast-paced society would be an understatement. It’s not uncommon for women to wear multiple hats on a daily basis. You might be trying to balance your relationship, career, motherhood, a social life, and so much more.
Life itself can distract you from actually taking the time to enjoy sex. It doesn’t help that too many distractions can make you feel disconnected from your partner, too.
Sex can be a healthy part of your self-care routine. Make time for it and block out all other distractions. When you focus more on your needs and wants, sex can become an enjoyable, desirable event again.
If you’re struggling to enjoy sex, keep these reasons in mind. More often than not, there are ways to turn your mindset around so you can enjoy the intimacy that comes from a sexual relationship.
P.S. If you would like to improve your sex enjoy more sex, intimacy and sexual pleasers in your relationship, I invite you to schedule a FREE 20-minutes assessment with me.