An orgasm doesn’t need to occur every time you’re intimate with someone in order to be satisfied or happy. But, for many women, it’s the ultimate “goal” of sexual satisfaction.
Some women seem to reach orgasm faster than others, and it may take different settings, techniques, and moods for each individual to experience one.
While you may not always have an orgasm during sex, it can feel frustrating when you never seem to have them or feel like you “can’t”. Chances are, there are more factors at play than you realize.
By understanding why you can’t orgasm, you can make changes or work toward a different situation that will make it easier to achieve that fulfillment.
So, what are some of the main reasons women can’t orgasm?
1. A Lack of Stimulation
It can take up to 20 minutes for the average woman to climax, and everyone is different. Unfortunately, that can feel like quite a long time when you’re with someone else, or even if you’re trying to stimulate yourself.
It’s that lack of stimulation that can make it feel impossible to orgasm. You or your partner might get frustrated, and that can take the focus away from stimulating actions. Stay the course and be patient. Continue with whatever stimulation works for you and don’t “give up” after a few minutes.
2. Performance Fears
When it comes to sexual performance anxiety, people usually think about men and their struggles. But women can experience the same worries. You might have had trouble orgasming in the past, so now you worry about it during sex.
Or maybe you’re afraid of not being what your partner wants or needs from an intimate standpoint.
When your focus goes elsewhere, you’re not tuning into your own body’s needs. As a result, you’re less likely to reach orgasm.
3. Physical Health Issues
If you have any underlying physical health conditions, they could contribute to why you can’t orgasm. Chronic conditions can sometimes cause pain, discomfort, fatigue, and a variety of other symptoms.
Those symptoms can make the act of sex or even self-stimulation uncomfortable and even unpleasant, at times. Talk to your partner about what you’re going through, and make sure you’re doing what you can to manage your condition.
4. Mental Health Issues
Mental health conditions can also cause issues with orgasming. If you struggle with depression or anxiety, it could impact your thoughts during intercourse. Women who have been through a traumatic event—especially sexually—can also have problems reaching orgasm.
Again, it’s important to talk to your partner about these issues. It’s just as important to seek treatment. The sooner you can get to the underlying cause of your mental health condition, the sooner you can manage it and take control of your thoughts again.
5. Relationship Problems
You may have heard the saying that intimacy starts outside the bedroom. If you’re having problems in your relationship, it’s going to be harder to reach orgasm. No matter how good things might feel, physically, a real connection is often necessary for women to be completely satisfied.
If there are relationship issues you need to deal with, try to work through those first before deciding to get intimate again. You might be surprised to find that dealing with the struggles in your emotional relationship can have such a huge impact on your physical relationship.
As you can see, there are many factors to consider in why women can’t orgasm. If you don’t think any of these reasons apply to you and you, consider talking to your doctor or a mental health professional for more information.